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Etiquette in the context of death and dying: Communication and conversation
Dayes, J. Keenan, J. Sadza, M.
Dayes, J.
Keenan, J.
Sadza, M.
Publication Date
2024
End of Embargo
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© The Author(s) 2023.
Creative Commons License (CC BY 4.0)
This article is distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 License (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) which permits any use, reproduction and distribution of the work without further permission provided the original work is attributed as specified on the SAGE and Open Access page (https://us.sagepub.com/en-us/nam/open-access-at-sage).
Peer-Reviewed
Yes
Open Access status
openAccess
Accepted for publication
2023
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Department
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Abstract
Death, bereavement, and grief are experiences suffused with conflict and disenfranchisement. Intricately connected is ‘etiquette’ – the sense of ‘should’ ‘must’ ‘right’ ‘wrong’ ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’ individuals feel in death and bereavement situations. This paper is the first of two answering the question, ‘where does etiquette arise in death and bereavement situations and what does this ‘look like?’’ The theme The etiquette of communication and conversation is described, highlighting the importance of early communication for resolving conflict, what is considered ‘appropriate’ communication and support, and the social values underpinning these. Data highlighted how the CBT concept of ‘shoulding and musting’ manifests in death and bereavement situations, gave insight into etiquette’s role in disenfranchising grief through shaping conversations, and offered suggestions for bereavement support. Though the term ‘etiquette’ may be misleading out of context, the concept resonated with the bereaved community and provided language to discuss the nuances of their experiences.
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Published version
Citation
Dayes J, Keenan J, Croucher K et al (2024) Etiquette in the context of death and dying: Communication and conversation. Omega: Journal of Death and Dying. Accepted for Publication.
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Article